Ally Dyson, NPL Press
CATALINA, CA—The U.S Coast Guard found an abandoned yacht adrift near the resort island of Catalina off of California’s southern coast. The fifty-foot luxury craft was first spotted by fishermen who noticed the ship to be drifting listlessly. The men informed officials after boarding the yacht and finding no one on board. One of the fishermen was reported as saying that [he] saw nothing except a dead [sea-bird]. The man cannot be reached for further comment.
Rear Admiral Tyler Jenson, in charge of the investigation, met with a handful of reporters earlier this afternoon, saying, “More than likely what we have here is the remnants of the ongoing drug war among the cartels in Mexico. The ship was registered to a known criminal from Manzanillo. There are no known survivors. Judging by the condition of the vessel, it has been at sea for some time.”
When asked if this incident was connected to the incidents in Peru and the Galapagos Islands, where there have been conflicting reports of oddly behaving wildlife or, as some have suggested, pirates. Jenson seemed irritated. “What took place in those areas is not connected with this incident. There is no cause for concern that the violence taking place in that region will spread north of the Galapagos. The U.S. Coast Guard, in conjunction with the Navy will see that there is no danger to U.S. citizens in our territorial waters.”
“As I stated before,” RDML Jenson continued, “this vessel had been adrift for quite some time. This is an ongoing investigation and I am not at liberty comment any further.” The rear admiral began to exit the conference somewhat hastily but when asked about the dead bird aboard the yacht, he responded by saying, “A dead pelican aboard a sea vessel that has been adrift at sea for some time is not that unusual. It likely entered the cabin and was trapped inside.”
When asked as to whether or not it was a dead penguin, RDML Jenson shook his head and refused to answer. It is speculated that the communication outage, which affected wide portions of the southern hemisphere last year, primarily almost everything below 60° S, was caused by a disturbance of local fauna, particularly penguins and not the renewed hostilities between the British and Argentine governments as other media outlets have claimed. There have been several witnesses who have come forward only to recant. More as this story develops.